Women At Play

Esther at the Buckhorn Saloon

Many, many years ago someone handed me a copy of Gloria Steinem’s Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions. It was a great read then and I have the desire to find it and re-read it again. The message from that book that I still carry with me today is that we need to rebel a little bit every day. Challenge the status quo. Question authority. Laugh at adversity. Live up to Steinem’s quote:

“We are the women our parents warned us against, and we are proud.”

Acts of rebellion don’t have to be acts of anger. They can be acts of playfulness, laughter (in a world where there are a lot of things not so funny), the joy of being physically active, dancing, playing music, goofing off. I love to see women laugh and play and just have fun. So I decided to post up some pictures of that. As some of you will notice, my beautiful daughter is prominently featured. I can’t help myself. I love her physical manifestation of joy. She is my own personal reminder of the importance of play. 

Lake Tahoe Joy Ride

Devil horns never get old....

Mel's got a great hand!

Sunday Coffee

Cinderella (aka Elizabeth) at the Ball

Cinderella!

Tour of the Gila women

Pickamania Joy

More Pickamania Joy

The world is my playground

Snowboard time!

Shred queen

Just Dancing

River fun

Octopus Diving

I texted "where are you" and she responded with a pic captioned "current location"

And So This Is Christmas

 A couple of weeks ago, I went to the Western New Mexico University Women’s basketball game with friends. As with every local college sporting event, the Vietnam War Vet’s color guard marched out, carrying U.S., New Mexico and military branch flags, solemn and silent and center court during the playing of the national anthem. I am not into the military. I question the real reason behind war. But these vets practically move me to tears every time I see them. They are a good representation of New Mexico soldiers – white guys, Native Americans, the original and true warriors of our nation, and Mexican Americans, who by sheer dumb luck were on the north side of a line arbitrarily drawn by the politicos divvying up land a long time ago. Short haired, long silver ponytailed hair, patches, badges, berets, boots.

One of my new buddies is Leonard, and at 93 ½ years old, is sharp and funny and generous with his single malt whisky. He was at the game too, wheeling his walker over to the corner of the gymnasium and getting a low seat on the bleachers. Leonard is a proud World War II veteran. Jewish; originally from Chicago.  The Viet Nam vets often stop and shake Leonard’s hand and chat after the ceremony as the game gets underway. And at this particular game two weeks ago, as they were leaving, Leonard hollers at them, “See you at the cemetery!” A few of us laughed in surprise. Was Leonard planning an earthly exit and we didn’t know about it? But one of our friends enlightened us. During the upcoming weekend, there was going to be a ceremony at the Fort Bayard Cemetery – the placing of Christmas wreaths at the markers of the soldiers buried there. Leonard was planning to attend. Jewish or not, he was still a soldier and would honor the men and women that went before him.

It doesn’t matter what day it is, or what the weather is like. My dog needs to run. Every morning. Christmas is no exception. So after a gloriously sunny hike on Boston Hill, I decided to drive the ten minutes to the cemetery. It sits on the west side of the old abandoned fort. It is lovingly cared for. I wanted to see the wreaths. And they were there, row upon row. 

Another was at the base of the Buffalo Soldier memorial. 

And in the silence, John Lennon’s/Yoko Ono’s Christmas song popped into my head. When I got home I looked up the lyrics. I had completely forgotten the song title, which is “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” I’m probably breaking some copyright law, but I decided to include the lyrics in this post. Peace to you my friends and family. Happy Holidays.

Happy Xmas (War is Over)

So this is Xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Xmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Xmas (war is over)
For weak and for strong (if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones (war is over)
The road is so long (if you want it)
And so happy Xmas (war is over)
For black and for white (if you want it)
For yellow and red ones (war is over)
Let's stop all the fight (now)

A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Xmas (war is over)
And what have we done (if you want it)
Another year over (war is over)
A new one just begun (if you want it)
And so happy Xmas (war is over)
We hope you have fun (if you want it)
The near and the dear one (war is over)
The old and the young (now)

A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

War is over, if you want it
War is over now

Happy Xmas

Happy Solstice from Snowy Silver City

Snow in the high desert is a beautiful thing and often short-lived. We took a hike this morning (William, Elizabeth and me, and of course our dogs Daizy and Seamus). This is what the Dragonfly Trail looks like. And I think I’m going to have to invest in a camera as I take all my pics with my cell phone and it doesn’t do the beauty of the place enough justice.

The Art of Doing Nothing/The Luxury of Time

A few months ago, my former Aunt-in-Law, Ann, and her daughter Jackie came to visit me for a day. They live in Tucson, about 3 hours away. They are very lovely people and I’ve known them since my early twenties. In fact, I sold my motorcycle to Jackie when she was just 21 and I was 30. I don’t think Aunt Ann was too happy about it, but that’s another story. Jackie is now in her late 40’s and a busy mom of three beautiful kids. Busy.

During a leisurely lunch at Tre Rosat, Jackie asked me somewhat hesitantly what I did all day. I smiled broadly and said ‘not much.’ I don’t think she could imagine what that looked like. When I was her age, I couldn’t imagine it either. I was that career woman/mother/wife –ex-wife/single mom/volunteer/athlete/fixer/adrenaline junkie that many women of my age became because we were living up to, and killing ourselves over, an impossible fantasy of ourselves. Jackie is in that world.

There is really nothing wrong with much of that life. We get a lot done. We help a lot of people. We often financially secure our future. But when there is no governor to it all, the busy-ness consumes our souls. It cores us. We lose perspective.

As a new mom 25 years ago, my beloved former step-mother-in-law, Anne (a popular name in my world…), gave me a calendar titled  “For Women Who Do Too Much” and I didn’t know how to take it. I think she was trying to tell me to slow down a bit. Instead, I felt affronted because maybe she thought I just wasn’t handling my oh so busy and important life as well as I could…. Ha ha. Well it only took me 32 more years to get the message.

I started slowing down when I left San Diego for Portland. I called my Portland experience my “Eight-Year Southern California/Corporate World De-Tox Phase.”

I haven’t labeled my Silver City experience anything yet. It’s too early. And besides, I’m busy doing nothing.

Well, that’s not quite true. I walk a lot. Young dogs inspire that. I observe a lot, take a lot of pictures. I am experimenting with a response of doing nothing instead of doing something when things aren’t going the way I want them to. And that, I tell you, is a real challenge for someone like me.

I want to ask my friends out there, especially my women friends of a certain age still running rough shod over their own lives, and being so damn busy – what are you trying to prove? Do you have enough Money? Friends? Lovers? Success?  Possessions?  Self-worth? Can you please take a moment and take stock, and maybe do nothing for once? Just start practicing the Art of Doing Nothing. Enjoy the Luxury of Time. But be careful. It can become habit forming…

What I see when I am doing nothing:

Sunset

Morning Snow

Boston Hill Morning in the Mist

Boston Hill Snow and Sun

Boston Hill Morning Clouds