The Portable Universe: The Art of Doing Nothing/The Luxury of Time

A few months ago, my former Aunt-in-Law, Ann, and her daughter Jackie came to visit me for a day. They live in Tucson, about 3 hours away. They are very lovely people and I’ve known them since my early twenties. In fact, I sold my motorcycle to Jackie when she was just 21 and I was 30. I don’t think Aunt Ann was too happy about it, but that’s another story. Jackie is now in her late 40’s and a busy mom of three beautiful kids. Busy.

During a leisurely lunch at Tre Rosat, Jackie asked me somewhat hesitantly what I did all day. I smiled broadly and said ‘not much.’ I don’t think she could imagine what that looked like. When I was her age, I couldn’t imagine it either. I was that career woman/mother/wife –ex-wife/single mom/volunteer/athlete/fixer/adrenaline junkie that many women of my age became because we were living up to, and killing ourselves over, an impossible fantasy of ourselves. Jackie is in that world.

There is really nothing wrong with much of that life. We get a lot done. We help a lot of people. We often financially secure our future. But when there is no governor to it all, the busy-ness consumes our souls. It cores us. We lose perspective.

As a new mom 25 years ago, my beloved former step-mother-in-law, Anne (a popular name in my world…), gave me a calendar titled “For Women Who Do Too Much” and I didn’t know how to take it. I think she was trying to tell me to slow down a bit. Instead, I felt affronted because maybe she thought I just wasn’t handling my oh so busy and important life as well as I could…. Ha ha. Well it only took me 32 more years to get the message.

I started slowing down when I left San Diego for Portland. I called my Portland experience my “Eight-Year Southern California/Corporate World De-Tox Phase.”

I haven’t labeled my Silver City experience anything yet. It’s too early. And besides, I’m busy doing nothing.

Well, that’s not quite true. I walk a lot. Young dogs inspire that. I observe a lot, take a lot of pictures. I am experimenting with a response of doing nothing instead of doing something when things aren’t going the way I want them to. And that, I tell you, is a real challenge for someone like me.

I want to ask my friends out there, especially my women friends of a certain age still running rough shod over their own lives, and being so damn busy – what are you trying to prove? Do you have enough Money? Friends? Lovers? Success? Possessions? Self-worth? Can you please take a moment and take stock, and maybe do nothing for once? Just start practicing the Art of Doing Nothing. Enjoy the Luxury of Time. But be careful. It can become habit forming…

What I see when I am doing nothing: